Back to the core

Time for a change

It was time for a change, a change of course for my company … that much was clear at least. I had all sorts of plans to let Lux Life Coaching grow. And I’d been cherishing a deep wish: to only do those things that truly bring me a sense of happiness and fulfillment. No more concessions, no matter how tempting ... I kept noticing how much time and energy this was really costing me, which I decided wasn’t worth it. I wanted to return to the essence, to my essence, and make that the sole focus of my work. But WHAT exactly my company’s core business should be… this for some reason I could’t get a clear enough grasp and focus on. Pretty frustrating!

Patience is a virtue

Luckily, my husband and I were about to go travelling for 6 months. During that time I wouldn’t be working, so I’d have all the time and space to find answers. Or so I thought … But while many things occurred during our wonderful trip, for months on end nothing happened as far as me getting further insights into the direction my company should be headed in. This confused me, because I usually make the best decisions of and for my life while I’m away! But, clearly, this time a little more patience was in order (not exactly my strongpoint ;-)). A process like this can’t be forced but will unfold in its own time, no matter how inconvenient this may be for us.

A pivotal insight: purpose

In the meantime I did ‘resign’ from my position as a freelance trainer at an institute for life and career coaching. A big step, after a collaboration of many years. This enabled me to start focusing exclusively on my own company. Perhaps it was this decision that cleared the way a little more for the expansion of Lux, both energetically and in terms of time and space. In any case, soon after, during an email exchange with a client from a hotelroom in Hanoi, it suddenly struck me. Purpose!! So logical, so obvious, so crystal clear and spot on … this was totally me … and this was what I’d been doing all along really, with clients and students as well as privately. Indeed, I’ve helped many others in this field, but it’s always a lot easier when it’s not about yourself or your own company!


The insight I’d reached in Vietnam wasn’t completely new. But the realisation that for me everything ultimately revolves around purpose, and that this should also be true for my company, had never hit me quite as loud and clear before. Sometimes, something can be so obvious and so close by that we can’t see it for what it is … as if we overlook it. I find it interesting how this works, also internally. Because subconsciously I’d probably already known for a while that I wanted to focus exclusively on purpose in my practice, but my mind was offering quite a bit of resistance. Was it not too spiritual? Too specific? Would I lose a lot of clients? Attract enough new ones? Etcetera. All this ego talk that was going on was ultimately fueled by fear. Indeed, us coaches are not immune to fear either, after all, we are all human And once human beings start doing what they really want to do, when they start living who they really are, our ego, otherwise known as our false sense of self, creates all these excuses and barriers to keep us from our ultimate goals. Luckily, I could see this for what it was and observe this process in myself, with interest, wonder, and occasionally some resistance as well.

What is purpose really?

OK, so purpose it is! But what is purpose about exactly, what does it mean? The Oxford dictionary explains it as: ‘the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists’. There’s a sense of meaning and purpose to be discovered in life … just as there is in YOUR life and the life events you’ve experienced! All based on the important idea that there is such a thing as a higher goal and a greater whole. For example, think of life questions like: ‘What is the meaning of life for me, how do I give meaning to my own life, what are the things happening in my life telling me, who am I (really) and what does this mean to me, what gives me a true sense of happiness and fulfillment, what is my destiny, what is my life mission? Of course there are many more of these questions that may be on your mind!

Not woolly but down-to-earth

Finding a sense of purpose is a uniquely human and deep-rooted need. In the end we all want to contribute something to the greater whole, by doing meaningful things that appeal to us and that do justice to who we really are. The search for purpose has to do with the spiritual dimension of our existence (as opposed to the physical, mental, emotional and energetical dimension). There is nothing vague or woolly about that, nor does it necessarily have anything to do with religion. Personally I’m not into any formal or institutionalised religion, but I am a very spiritual person. At the same time, anyone who knows me will say I’m also down-to-earth, and I feel this combination is important. So you won’t find me hugging trees or anything, I’ll take a nice glass of wine (or two) instead!

We are all spiritual

Some people are actively involved in their own spiritual development and/or in finding a sense of purpose, others not so much or maybe not at all. But whatever the case, spirituality forms a part of our human existence. Because in the end we are all spiritual beings creating a life on earth, as opposed to earthly creatures having spiritual experiences.

In my practice I receive a lot of people who have lost the connection to their own spirituality and their deeper drives. They’re looking for a broader understanding of who they are and what truly suits them, in order to reach a greater degree of fulfillment and happiness in both their life and work. This search is happening at a much younger age these days , and is not reserved for midlifers anymore. If you recognize yourself in any of this, and you feel that I may be able to help you, then I warmly invite you to get in touch with me at any time!


Published on: August 21, 2017

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